I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
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My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
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This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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