no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
