So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
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I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
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I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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