I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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