dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
50% drunk capacity currently
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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