Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
