You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
