Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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