I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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