we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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