I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my sisters under your porch take her home
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
