So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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