I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
