it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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