The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
