I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
