Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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