Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
