why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
