I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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