Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
how drunk are you?
Several
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
