Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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