Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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