I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
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Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
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I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.