ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket