Texts From Last Night

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place

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  (423) 2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place http://tfl.nu/hlr5
  Replies (4) Good night (3318) Bad night (963)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  You mean inside out.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

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  (302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down. (1-302): You mean inside out. (302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist. http://tfl.nu/eio3
  Replies (20) Good night (7594) Bad night (991)
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  (310): View more from California

  I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.

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  (310): I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today. http://tfl.nu/yukz
  Replies (8) Good night (5277) Bad night (708)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl

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  (404): last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl http://tfl.nu/5x3v
  Replies (19) Good night (2566) Bad night (632)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.

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  (308): It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail. http://tfl.nu/m40v
  Replies (18) Good night (973) Bad night (4653)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.

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  (337): I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed. http://tfl.nu/us0c
  Replies (59) Good night (2002) Bad night (3653)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.

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  (714): dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/j38h
  Replies (25) Good night (4423) Bad night (646)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  His apartment number was 69. I had to.

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  (214): His apartment number was 69. I had to. http://tfl.nu/cn9s
  Replies (22) Good night (8131) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges

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  (607): He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges http://tfl.nu/3nw2
  Replies (24) Good night (1362) Bad night (6473)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  there not mine if that helps

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  (717): why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter (1-717): there not mine if that helps http://tfl.nu/k00a
  Replies (6) Good night (2271) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.

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  (229): I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party. http://tfl.nu/127h
  Replies (4) Good night (1119) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.

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  (712): Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field. http://tfl.nu/ntdj
  Replies (6) Good night (1835) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee

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  (603): I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee http://tfl.nu/okty
  Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?

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  (720): Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay? http://tfl.nu/yxii
  Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?

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  (44): Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops? http://tfl.nu/g9tn
  Replies (4) Good night (768) Bad night (215)

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