i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.