Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.