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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.

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• (905): View more from Toronto

  I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Semen is not good for contacts.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I think I sprained my soul last night

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69

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• (707): View more from California

  I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker

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