Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?

(843): View more from South Carolina

You're upset about this?

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(803): We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF? (843): You're upset about this? http://tfl.nu/f42n

Replies (28) Good night (2907) Bad night (1509)
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(850): View more from Florida

At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.

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(850): At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me. http://tfl.nu/6dky

Replies (18) Good night (979) Bad night (3841)
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(314): View more from Missouri

In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major

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(314): In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major http://tfl.nu/y5g5

Replies (18) Good night (1408) Bad night (5473)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"

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(651): All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!" http://tfl.nu/l7i0

Replies (6) Good night (5935) Bad night (1360)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".

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(865): She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit". http://tfl.nu/1ezf

Replies (23) Good night (8381) Bad night (1094)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.

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(617): Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal. http://tfl.nu/pm4h

Replies (4) Good night (1437) Bad night (3091)
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(303): View more from Colorado

high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.

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(303): high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me. http://tfl.nu/bsmu

Replies (8) Good night (2655) Bad night (1070)
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(678): View more from Georgia

All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.

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(678): All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know. http://tfl.nu/jvfd

Replies (6) Good night (1373) Bad night (1088)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.

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(337): I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be. http://tfl.nu/u40q

Replies (5) Good night (1020) Bad night (723)
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(631): View more from New York

She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat

(1-631): View more from New York

SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.

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(631): She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat (1-631): SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT. http://tfl.nu/se9g

Replies (5) Good night (1441) Bad night (599)
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(240): View more from Maryland

A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it

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(240): A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it http://tfl.nu/zmnm

Replies (3) Good night (1332) Bad night (636)
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(415): View more from California

I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.

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(415): I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame. http://tfl.nu/5rwn

Replies (1) Good night (890) Bad night (547)
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(513): View more from Ohio

It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again

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(513): It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again http://tfl.nu/339h

Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (284)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him

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(306): he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him http://tfl.nu/xwro

Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (325)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?

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(618): Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!? http://tfl.nu/wury

Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (138)

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