How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
