I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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