the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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