I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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