Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
