i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
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I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
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Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
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