Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
