He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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