Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
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His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
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Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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