White coat. Heels.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize