If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i've created a new STD.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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