"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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