Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
