Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
