Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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