ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize