I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
