i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
