i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my sisters under your porch take her home
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
