I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Your penis caused this!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize