If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
no you cant smoke seaweed
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
