If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
