so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
