between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
