Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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