I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize