this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
