I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
