Christians are straight up FREAKS
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
