I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
