it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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