Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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