WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
