Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Naked Twister starts at high noon
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
